i get one area of my life together or maybe even two and then the other areas that were ok get worse and then if i focus on those then i lose the ones i had? i feel like a middle schooler. i'm turning 30 at the end of may and i'm not quite feeling the grown-upness that i think i should be feeling. my life certainly doesn't reflect much grownupness. and then other times it does. being a teacher has forced me to be a better person in some ways. i am still having a hard time finding the balance between grading and having a life--prepping isn't a problem really, but then again i could definitely improve in that area--but on the other hand, i find myself making better choices in other areas of my life b/c of how i think it will affect my teaching or what would my students think/feel and trying to avoid being a hypocrite since i'm supposed to be setting an example and they do look up to me. it's amazing how much just a tiny bit of impact can have on a student. it's not like i expect my students to think i am infallible and i know that it helps them to see that i am human, ie not perfect and capable of learning and growing from my mistakes, it's just, sigh, hard. i guess it must be kind of like having kids? you might be an ass, but the very existence of your child makes you grow up a bit, if you are any kind of adult? anyone? anyone? buellar?